It took me a minute to sit back and realize it but, my internship is almost halfway over. As cliche as it sounds, it honestly does feel like I just started yesterday. Somehow, at the same time though, I feel like I’ve been here for months. Perhaps that comes down to the immense amount of knowledge and experience I gain almost everyday through this experience.
Everyday I do something that 4 weeks ago I would have simply responded with “I don’t know how, sorry.”. However, when a superior simply tells you “this is the job” and walks away, that’s not really an option, and in retrospect, I am so glad that’s what happens. Nonetheless, this level of independence has led to its fair share of obstacles. Sometimes I am given a task that really does leave me feeling out of my depth. For example, I was given the task of building an interface using HTML/CSS, something I had tried doing during my second semester and quite honestly, failed pretty miserably. Naturally, I thought this would go the same way, and promptly began to internally panic.
What got me through this though, was telling myself, it is absolutely ok to not know how to do something, and even be flat out bad at it. I can get into my head sometimes, feeling like if I’m not immediately good at something, I shouldn’t be doing it, and that’s something this experience has really pushed me to improve upon. Quitting was not an option with these tasks, but nobody said I had to be an expert at it right from the start, and I had to make myself realize nobody expected me to be an expert in the first place. I can see how much more comfortable I am with just taking a breath and telling myself, “no big deal, I’ll figure it out”, and if I can’t-ask for help! Another great thing I’ve realized, everything has a YouTube tutorial.
I may not be able to say this obstacle has been entirely overcome, because for every small victory, I run into another wall that sets me back another hour, but I’ve learned that’s ok! Having these daily obstacles has been one of my favorite parts of this internship so far, because I think that’s where I grow the most. I know I’ll be able to look back on this experience in the fall and see just how much I’ve learned, both professionally and personally.
Lastly, I’ve been able to take this newfound personal growth regarding being receptive to trying and learning new things I may not be great at, and channel it into trying another new thing- a Bollywood dance class! Definitely something I would have said a few months ago I would do over my dead body, but I’m so glad I took the step to do it, because I may move like I’ve got two left feet, but more importantly, it’s one of the most fun things I’ve ever done, and I definitely wouldn’t have done it if the obstacles, small or large as they may be that I face on a daily basis in the office had not made me more okay with just slowing down, and figuring it out.