What I learned from an obstacle | #5

An obstacle I’m sharing here would be about self-confidence of study or research. Before starting this summer research internship, I was quite confident of my engineering skills and knowledge, just because of my decent grades on classes and good performances in a student project team. Looking back now, I think I was just conceited, but at that time I believed I could do well in research like I actually did in undergraduate courses.
Soon after I started my research project, it turned out that I was wrong and research was not an easy stuff at all. I completely lost my self-confidence. In addition, I realized that there is a huge, huge difference between a professor or Ph.D. students and me as a researcher. This led me felt so nervous about my future research career: I’m totally unsure whether I can survive as a researcher after graduation.

I don’t think I could overcome this obstacle, I mean I’m too immature as for research, but I could get to feel comfortable with this situation. Maybe, in other words, I’ve just got used to feeling inferior, but I no longer feel nervous. Now my heart is positive that all I can do is to cumulate small effort to become a good researcher.
This obstacle told me a very important thing. First of all, it made my realize how arrogant I was even without any achievement, and let myself be modest again as I was when started college life. Another thing I learn is the huge gap between what is told in college classes and state-of-the-art research. Comparing to research, knowledge and thesis in the classes is just a fundamental of fundamental. Of course, it doesn’t mean I can neglect them, but I still have so many things to learn. But actually I feel great about that rather than become disgusting, because now I’m sure I can be enjoying learning forever.

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