The Future… #5

I came into this internship hoping to get more insight into the field of corporate social responsibility and if this is the path I want to take after I graduate in a year. I was looking for clarity but I don’t think I got it.

And to be honest, that is really scary. I know that in the fall, I will start applying for full-time jobs but how do I even begin to do that when I am not sure exactly what I want or what I am looking for? I feel like there is still so much for me to explore about this field and other fields that I might be interested in. I spent 4 years of college exploring my interests and I thought that would be enough time, but I don’t think it was.

I feel like my time is running out.

At the same time, I do feel like there is something beautiful about not knowing exactly what you want or where you’ll be in a year. Yeah, it’s terrifying but it also allows me to stay open to every opportunity that may come my way. I think where the fear comes in is thinking that, what if I don’t get any job at all because recruiters will “see through me” or something and recognize that I am not sure about my future? But then again, I think, really who is?? For example, there is a woman who started working for my company last week, who is in between jobs, in her 40s, and is still figuring things out and deciding what she wants to do with her life. Maybe that will still be me in 20 years. Is that okay?

Why do I feel so much pressure to figure it all out now?

One thought on “The Future… #5

  • August 23, 2018 at 5:15 pm

    Hi Lilah, it’s been a while since I’ve gotten to respond to your blogs. I was so impressed with your last reflection on taking initiative for your networking and professional development. Sounds like you had a dream first internship experience in that regards, and you are correct, they are definitely more the exception than the rule. Were you ever able to make any good connections, ask for some informational interviews? We do networking workshops at the Hub, I hope you can check one out this fall.

    As for this post, I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but please consider setting up an appointment with one of our coaches when you return to campus. They can help you think through next steps, actions you can take to help you find a job by graduation (your friends who have things lined up are the rare ones, almost all seniors are feeling EXACTLY what you feel), process through your experience this summer and what it means for you, and more. Your colleague in her 40s is not that rare – both my partner and I just changed careers, and we’re in our mid 30s. It’s more common than it has been at any point in history thanks to the Millennial generation (proud millennial writing here), and you do not have to have it all figured out.

    In my own experience, I 100% echo what you wrote: “I do feel like there is something beautiful about not knowing exactly what you want or where you’ll be in a year.” I quit my previous job without anything else lined up, and it took me 10 months to land at the Hub. And now I’m happier at work than I’ve ever been. If I hadn’t taken that giant leap of faith, I wouldn’t be here now, and I’m so grateful to trusted that the universe would show me what I needed when I was ready.

    You will find your way. Trust yourself in that.


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