Growing up people would always tell me to be the change I wanted to see in the world. This always sounded so cliché. It still sounds a little cliché. Sometimes the truest things are cliché maybe they are this way because they are hard to argue, and everyone loves to argue. But it is very true, I need to be the change in the world. I intend on being the change I want to see in the world. It’s one of the best things. Like there is the opportunity just sitting there waiting for someone to take it up. I am graduating in December, so I feel more optimistic about taking up sitting opportunities than ever.
Becoming a research assistant has wildly changed my life. I think my life was heading in this direction anyway, but I think working in the lab really expedited the process. As things in life become more hectic, scary and uncertain I feel that I need more “quiet activities” these quiet activities have become my solace. Every so often I have days where I am in the tissue culture room in one of the biochemical hoods for 2-3 hours. This is usually a plating day for an experiment that overlaps with a treatment or cell harvest day for another experiment (I am starting an experiment and ending another one the most time-consuming part of an experiment). Based on what I am doing I can listen to my music, but most of the time I do not. This has become my quiet time. During the school year, I feel so so exhausted having to spend all day surrounded by people and constantly talking. I usually go from class to tutoring to a student org meeting and then to do some homework and then to bed (repeat x 15 weeks). These days feel very long and productive, but I also feel like I listen to people talk all day and talk all day myself. This quiet time is so golden. In my silence, I think about how I am finally being the change I want to see. My hands are putting good work into this world and one day someone is going to benefit from it. I am hoping the treatment I have been working with is able to move into clinical trials within the next 6 months. As we move towards the end of the manuscript it feels like we, as a group, are troubleshooting problems at top speed.
My favorite Ted Talk is a talk about vulnerability by Brene Brown. This talk is very very popular. The first time I watched this talk was about 15 years old. Brene begins this talk discussing how her publisher wanted to call her a storyteller instead of a researcher because she felt the word “researcher” wouldn’t attract people. I thought this was something in the humanities where the research is usually more moral, opinionated and ethically driven. Here I am 7 years later, and I feel like a storyteller.