Though I am continuing my internship into the fall semester and upcoming school year, I think that I definitely learned a lot from this summer that I wasn’t expecting when I first started the internship, or even first came up with my project idea. Originally, I was going to have developed the training over the summer and implemented it, and also already have started the women of color and nonbinary individuals of color empowerment groups. However, I quickly realized that the short three months that I had of my internship weren’t enough time at all to do all that I had planned in that timeline. While I initially had the goals of just having the training immediately and starting the empowerment group, I realized that my goal should be more focused on quality – of spending more time doing research so that the groups and training could be the best that they could be.
As someone raised in this society that constantly is valuing production, this was something that was hard for me to really accept, and I think that I am still struggling with feeling like I failed in some way because I wasn’t able to accomplish the initial goals that I had set for myself. However, I know objectively that the work that I am doing is very difficult, and hasn’t been done in a lot of places before. Without spending the time doing good initial research, then I could potentially be reproducing harm. Overall, I think that I learned a lot this summer not just about implicit racial bias, and the barriers to healthcare for women of color, but also about myself, and what it takes for me to succeed in a working environment.