on being uncomfortable in success | #6

One of my friends suggested I should start a blog to help influence and encourage women of color and girls that want to pursue STEM degrees and careers. I am afraid I would not know what to say. I think bloggers can be admirable because they try to write in a way that relates their audience and they give these ounces of advice hoping that someone can relate. I do not think I have enough experience to know what to say. I am also afraid of giving people false hope. I myself have not even come to understand the politics or hierarchies that exist in these places. I am afraid my advice will deter people or even make their situation worst. I often underestimate how much I can give and how powerful I can be. I hope to one day start this blog once I understand more about my role and how I can be better at what I do before I start dishing out this advice.

Today is the last day of my internship. I will remain in the lab during the school year, but on an 8-10h/wk schedule. Moving on from this internship I will have to be better at managing my schedule. Although I was in the lab last year while being a student, I felt that I had a horrible schedule. I would plan to come in late and night and on weekends. It was possible but unfeasible. I wish I spent more time strengthening my relationships with my friends who graduated in May. Although these decisions are common in college (picking work/school over a social event), I think the work began to consume me. This definitely began to affect my work. I think understanding this will be pivotal in my success in moving forwards – what is possible vs what is feasible and how possibility is not always going to be an avenue to success, but sometimes may be the quickest way to destruction. When I think about things that are a little challenging or compromising, I will need to immediately lay out a plan of how it is going to look like. Yesterday I was in the lab from 10-7pm (SOS, so before most people came in and much later after most people clocked out). I was hurrying on my way out and forgot to clean up my last station and my supervisor got a note about my mess. I feel really bad about it. The root of this was me trying to get 3 projects done simultaneously in one day and because of that things became very messy. I think I can handle multitasking very well, but it is easy to get swept up and forget to carefully plan and give enough attention to each activity. also, multitasking isn’t everything sometimes it is important to walk away from things for a while.

Moving on: As I continue my job search as a senior student I am looking for opportunities that will put me on a good spot. I hope to live in a location with an uplifting community and volunteer programs that give back and work to propel the minority groups in their area. Although I am very grateful and happy to be in the position I am in and have the knowledge I have, It will always be a little uncomfortable to know that this is beyond someone’s wildest dreams. Moving on doesn’t feel right when I think about all the people who are left behind. I think about how easy it could have been for me to be left behind and if no one ever saw potential in me. I am continuously grateful for my teachers who have uplifted me and made me see my potential. They have propelled me forward and they are the reason I am able to flourish today.

These are the thoughts I continually have and intend to continuously have, and because of this I will always pursue expanding education as a way to tap into peoples confidence and self esteem so that one day they are able to propel themselves forwards.

 

Three cheers for teachers            .

One thought on “on being uncomfortable in success | #6

  • August 31, 2018 at 1:27 pm
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    Hi Uche – Thank you for your openness in sharing your experiences and thoughts in these final two reflections. In short, I’m blown away by your thoughtfulness, your knowledge, and your passion – you see your work and own development as connected to the larger context not just of your current project or your lab, but of the wider landscape of STEM, higher education, and of opportunity in general. I hope you’ll continue to share the powerful stories to you have to tell about your research, your journey, and your aspirations for more equitable access to education, opportunities, and care.

    I also really admire the distinction you’ve set out between what’s feasible and what’s possible. The ability to say no is a powerful item in any professional’s toolbox! As you head into the fall, please know you are welcome to stop by the Hub to get started on whatever’s next.

    As of this post, you’ve met your blogging requirements for the summer. It’s been a true pleasure to read about your experiences. I hope you get to enjoy a break this weekend before classes start!

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